Long Term Dynamics

Two months have passed since I sat down and wrote 200 lines to show my Domme I am worth her time, sixty days. During those sixty days, an emotional rollercoaster arrived, passed, and is perpetually doing its rounds. Through that, I have learned so much. And even with that, I have much to learn about myself, my Dynamic, and my Domme. 

As a new submissive, every day is a learning experience. My Domme guides me and truly is the definition of a leader, holding my hand (and sometimes other areas) through the world of BDSM with great care and attention. What makes our Dynamic so special is it’s the rare sought-after “long-term” dynamic. Especially in findom, which is the initial kink I pursued through my Domme, many submissives end up chasing after session-based dynamics.

Session-based dynamics are different in that the dynamic is built around scenes and staying within those scenes when engaging. For example, in my very first introduction into findom and BDSM, I was a session-based submissive where I paid for specific scenes. Once the scene was over and I got off, curtains closed and back to regular me. That is not the case with long-term dynamics. 

I am constantly in a state of submission and I always know my place with my Domme. There are no timeframes or business hours, and even if I am not getting off, I submit. What I am learning through this relationship is that communication is paramount. Without giving my trust and consent to my Domme, it would mean nothing, and the dynamic would die.

At the very core base, once the honeymoon phase of our Dynamic passed and life began happening, juggling both was hard! I began playing less, begging less, and being more distant overall. I did not realize until after a recent drop just how distant I was being and how it was making my Domme worry. I was not communicating, I was panicking and it was increasing in frequency. Reflecting on these sixty days, keeping my collars on throughout these feelings showed that they truly represent the trust and security I have with my Domme. 

Settling back in after recent panic and worry, my Domme has stressed the importance of communication. There are truly no dumb questions only under communication. It is against my nature to want to ask and to seek clarification, but my Domme has been challenging my thought processes as often as needed. I resist sometimes but she reassures me every time and I leave the conversation better than I entered. 

Long-term dynamics are so special to me because of the intimacy and the amount of attention required by both a Dominant and a submissive. It is not a hit-it-and-quit-it one-off session, it is a relationship. With a relationship comes the need for respect, understanding, and compassion. My Domme has reiterated that my natural ebbs and flows with emotions are normal and occasionally being distant may occur. And with that, I am learning to be more communicative, express myself more, and be comfortable being myself.