Submission:Understanding Power Dynamics in BDSM (and how to Submit.)

Goddess Jackie Johnson
Jan 25
7 min read

If you are participating in BDSM with a partner for every session or scene, there is going to be someone who is following, supporting, and contributing—AKA the submissive. If you are a submissive partner or are exploring submission, there are several things you should keep in mind to ensure safety, satisfaction, and growth. There are many ways to approach submission, and what one person enjoys in their dynamic might not work for someone else.

What Exactly Is Submission in BDSM?

Submission is about trust, communication, and teamwork, it is not about being less than or without your own thoughts or feelings In a D/S relationship, it’s about creating a dynamic that both YOU and your Dominant enjoy. The most fulfilling experiences can only come when you are willing to share your desires, limits, and preferences, which is essential.

Being submissive does not mean putting your needs aside or staying silent. It means that you trust your Dominant to guide you in a mutually agreed upon way that you can feel safe letting yourself sink into and enjoy. At the same time, you will speak up when needed and advocate for your needs. A good submissive knows that their Dominnat is trusting them to voice boundaries and express any needs that come up during a scene so that it is NOT traumatizing when it is all over.

You can think about a dynamic like dancing. The submissive is the follower in a dance, moving in response to the lead (the Dominant). While the lead guides the movements, the follower’s role is equally vital in bringing grace, connection, and rhythm to the dance.

Before stepping onto the dance floor, they have to plan the routine. They discuss the style of dance they’ll perform (limits), the tempo they’ll follow (preferences), and the intensity of their moves (risk levels). The floor is marked with boundaries (safe words) so everyone knows when to slow down or stop if something doesn’t go as planned or feels unsafe to perform.

A skilled follower isn’t just being pulled across the floor. They actively respond, anticipate, and match the energy of the lead. Their dynamic creates a seamless flow, each step building trust and connection.

When the music stops, they have to cool down together. They take a moment to rest, reflect, and talk about the performance. They will stretch together and talk about how they feel or if they need any help to recover. This post-dance reflection strengthens their partnership, ensuring the next performance is even more synchronized and fulfilling.

Does a Submissive Have to Act a Certain Way to Be Submissive?

Being submissive means willingly relinquishing control or authority in a consensual dynamic. Submissives embrace submission in ways that align with their personalities, desires, and comfort zones. Every submissive’s journey is valid and personal and should not be dictated by others. There are a lot of different roles that people enjoy to fill as a submissive, and here are some of the common ones, you can feel like one kind of applies or a bunch. There is no right or wrong to what you enjoy or how.

1. Slave

"I enjoy giving up control and following structure completely."

Slaves thrive in environments with clear rules, protocols, and authority. They willingly surrender significant aspects of their lives to their Dominant.

Style: Obedient, disciplined, and detail-oriented.
Dynamic: Often paired with a Master/Mistress, emphasizing total power exchange (TPE) or ongoing authority.

2. Owned Submissive

"I enjoy being cherished and guided as someone’s possession."

Owned submissives find fulfillment in being "claimed" by their Dominant, often symbolized through collars, rituals, or contracts.

Style: Devoted and secure, with a deep sense of belonging.
Dynamic: Typically paired with an Owner, focusing on care and commitment in the dynamic.

3. Little

"I enjoy feeling cared for and safe while exploring vulnerability."

Littles express submission through a childlike or playful state, often finding comfort and joy in being nurtured by their Dominant (Daddy/Mommy).

Style: Innocent, playful, and emotionally expressive.
Dynamic: Paired with a Daddy/Mommy figure who provides guidance, protection, and care.

4. Masochist

"I enjoy receiving pain as a source of pleasure and connection."

Masochists derive satisfaction from consensual physical sensations, such as pain or discomfort, often connecting deeply with their Sadistic partner.

Style: Resilient, adventurous, and physically focused.
Dynamic: Paired with a Sadist who enjoys administering the sensations they crave.

5. Primal Prey

"I enjoy raw, instinctual surrender."

Primal Prey embrace a wild, instinct-driven form of submission, often centering on the thrill of being "hunted" or dominated in an unscripted way.

Style: Untamed, reactive, and emotionally raw.
Dynamic: Paired with a Primal Predator who enjoys spontaneous and animalistic interactions.

6. Rope Bunny

"I enjoy the sensation and artistry of being tied and restrained."

Rope bunnies find pleasure in the physical and emotional experience of rope bondage, trusting their partner to create both beauty and restriction.

Style: Relaxed, trusting, and focused on connection through restraint.
Dynamic: Paired with a Rigger who specializes in rope techniques and aesthetic ties.

7. Pet

"I enjoy embodying a playful and devoted role in the dynamic."

Pets thrive in dynamics where they are "trained" or guided by their Dominant, often adopting roles such as kittens, puppies, or ponies.

Style: Playful, eager, and focused on pleasing their Trainer/Handler.
Dynamic: Paired with a Handler/Trainer who provides structure, training, and care.

8. Degradee

"I enjoy consensual humiliation as a way to explore my vulnerability."

Degradees find fulfillment in consensual humiliation, whether through verbal teasing or specific scenarios that reinforce the power dynamic.

Style: Open, vulnerable, and boundary-pushing (within consent).
Dynamic: Paired with a Degrader who enjoys exploring these elements safely and consensually.

9. Brat

"I enjoy testing boundaries and playing with defiance."

Brats love pushing limits in a playful and cheeky way, finding joy in seeing how their Dominant reacts and maintains control.

Style: Fun-loving, rebellious, and mischievous.
Dynamic: Paired with a Brat Tamer who enjoys the challenge of managing their spirited energy.

10. Bottom

"I enjoy experiencing sensations or activities chosen by my Dominant."

Bottoms focus on the physical or sensory aspect of submission, participating in activities their Dominant enjoys or requests.

Style: Cooperative, open, and partner-focused.
Dynamic: Paired with a Service Top who prioritizes the bottom’s desired experiences while maintaining control.

11. Elegant Submissive

"I enjoy offering quiet, refined submission with grace."

Elegant submissives appreciate subtle and sophisticated dynamics, often emphasizing respect, poise, and mutual appreciation.

Style: Polished, composed, and quietly devoted.
Dynamic: Paired with a Gentleman/Lady Dom who values a classy and understated power dynamic.

Hands and legs bound with rope, set against a red and black background. A whip rests on a glossy high heel. Dark, intense mood.

Submission is as unique as the individual, and many submissives identify with more than one style. These styles can overlap and shift depending on the dynamic or the scene. For example, N.H. is a submissive brat, pet, and prey, (so far at least). The beauty of submission lies in its versatility and the freedom to discover what feels right for you not any dominant you meet.

With Submission, there is still responsibility

It’s easy to romanticize submission as simply doing what you’re told, but the reality is that is not safe for anyone. Submission requires trust, communication, and active participation in ensuring the dynamic remains safe and fulfilling. You’re not just handing over control; you’re partnering with your Dominant to create a shared experience.

Yes, surrendering control may seem freeing, but it’s not without its responsibilities. As a submissive, you’re entrusting your Dominant with your safety and well-being, and it’s your responsibility to advocate for yourself. Setting boundaries, using safe words, and communicating openly are essential to a healthy dynamic. Fully submitting to someone without that in place, you are at risk of being harmed or harming your partner.

Safety Is Non-Negotiable

Being submissive doesn’t mean being passive about safety. You have every right and responsibility to educate yourself about the activities and tools you will experiment with.

For instance, if your dynamic involves rope bondage, it’s worth learning about circulation and nerve safety. While your Dominant should know how to tie safely, your awareness can prevent accidents and deepen your trust. Safety isn’t just their job; it’s a shared responsibility.

Safe words are your safety net, a way to express discomfort or the need to stop. Using a safe word isn’t “failing” or “ruining” the scene. It’s taking care of yourself and ensuring trust remains intact. Never hesitate to use your safe word, even if you think it’s “not that bad.” A good Dominant will respect and honor your limits, and the ability to use a safe word is what allows you to surrender control confidently. If you ever do use a safe word, it can build a more powerful bond of trust between all participants that they will be safe and can trust each other.

Emotional Safety Matters Too

Submission is about more than just physical acts, it’s an emotional journey. Understanding the frameworks of consent can help you navigate this safely:

SSC (Safe, Sane, and Consensual): Focuses on safety and sound decision-making, ensuring all activities are mutually agreed upon.
RACK (Risk-Aware Consensual Kink): Acknowledges that some activities involve risks but emphasizes informed consent and understanding.
PRICK (Personal Responsibility Informed Consensual Kink): Highlights individual accountability for one’s choices and the outcomes of those choices.

These frameworks aren’t just for Dominants; as a submissive, you should understand and align with the one that best fits your dynamic. It may be just one or all of them, but make sure consent and knowledge of the scene are discussed first.

The Importance of Aftercare

Submission can be physically and emotionally intense, which is why aftercare is essential. It’s not just for you, but also the Dominate. Aftercare provides the grounding moment after the intensity of a scene. Whether it’s a blanket, a quiet hug, some water, or a reassuring conversation, aftercare helps you process the experience and reconnect with your Dominant. It helps you come back to the real world slowly and know that everything is safe still. Honest communication during aftercare strengthens the bond and ensures the dynamic continues to grow.

True Submission Is a Gift

Submission is not about weakness, instead it’s about strength. It takes courage to trust, to be vulnerable, and to explore your desires with another person. When done with care and communication, submission can be an incredibly fulfilling and empowering experience.

Remember, your gift, is one that deserves to be handled with respect and care. You’re not just “going along” with someone else’s wishes; you’re an equal partner in creating something meaningful, exciting, and safe. Submission isn’t just about giving up control—it’s about forming a connection, discovering your boundaries, and growing together in trust and understanding.

True submission is not about obedience alone it’s about care, trust, and the courage to share your vulnerability. So, whether you’re a little, a rope bunny, a masochist, or something entirely unique, embrace your role with confidence and pride.

Hope this helps.

Good luck, darling.

Have fun, and be safe.