How To Survive A Drop

This week, I decided to leave my job, and a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I had not been in a playful mood for a few weeks, and my Domme could sense it. I worked a call center position, and we had just started taking phone calls; my mood dropped shortly thereafter. Constant talking on the phone all day, micromanagement, and metrics made me worn out each day. Combined with the commute, I was getting up at six to return home at 830 at night, so playing and teasing weren’t on the table. 

Through out my dynamic, however, my Domme had been building up my confidence higher and higher each week. I had become far more involved in my job training and even became a bit of a smartass. This was different though, I needed to utilize my confidence for something new. I knew I had to quit this job for my mental health. I reached out to my old job and was, almost immediately, offered my old job back. I received an official job offer, lunchtime wrapped at the call center job, and I walked out with my resignation papers thirty minutes later. 

Quitting my job brought my mood immediately back. Everything felt easy again and I had the rest of the week to relax and reset in preparation for my old job. My Domme, knowing my mood shot back up and that I was getting back to being her favorite pet, tasked me with something unique. Do something with the free time I would not normally do but have been wanting to. I decided to go to a New York Knicks game. The game was amazing. I got a good buzz going and returned home happier than ever. The week was going perfectly.

The following day, my Domme tasked me with something new: editing her podcast. I was so excited to be part of the creative process and so eager to help. I purchased some editing software and began messing around with the videos, overlaying several video files with an audio track, for a 23-minute cut. That’s when the errors and cracks began to show. 

I was hyper-focused on getting scene transitions together and rushed the whole thing. Once I finished my rough draft my thought process said “All good ready to show it!”, without checking and rewatching my work. Once I showed it to my Domme, she was so disappointed. She mentioned her disappointment at the rush job, and my mood slowly went from excited to terrified. I was scared and felt like I let her down immensely. Too much excitement too little thought process. 

She eventually brought up that I was being punished, and we had planned on a release from orgasm control on the weekend, which was now off the table. Thats when my spiral started. I had been off to such a good start to the year, had been so obedient, and had just powered through a rough job,. Now everything was crumbling around me. I initially felt ok with the punishment and decided to say I was fine and thanked her. An hour later, like a dam bursting, I couldn't hold my feelings back, so I messaged her. 

I felt horrible and any of her explanations about why I was being punished fell on deaf ears, the alarm bells were ringing. A dead inside numb feeling took over and I almost cried. But through this, I never took my collar off. I knew deep, deep down in my subconscious we would work it out. I was dropping like an anchor, and she knew by this point. She even offered a hangout where we could just watch a TV show together, which I politely declined. I needed to process my thoughts and what was going on, but I couldn’t. So I laid in bed and stared at the ceiling, contemplating everything, where I stood in our dynamic, why did this happen, why now?

After some time, she reached back out, and we talked. And talked. And talked. I was emotional. I knew she cared about me but did not realize how much she meant to me and how much I meant to her. We both agreed there was a miscommunication, but I did rush my edit not on purpose but because I was so excited. And that’s the lesson I learned: proofread my work and utilize my excitement to match the high standards both she and I set for myself. 

We both apologized, and my emotional rollercoaster finished after several hours. I went to bed extremely happy though. I felt safe and looked after. Even though I am still punished and will not try to backtrack on that, my week still stayed amazing in a unique way. I learned so much about myself and our dynamic. I was reminded how much my Domme cares about me. She never punishes me for the sake of it. She punishes me to get me to improve. For that, I am forever grateful.